September 8, 1744

1744 September 8 (Saturday).  I had many close Reflections upon myself, Chastizing myself for my Pusillanimity that I did not boldly bear my Testimony against the slender Provisions in the Most Towns throughout the Country for the Maintenance of ministers, which withholding more than is Meet tendeth to Poverty and is one of the Principal Causes of the many Dissentions in the Land — but know not what the Event would be if I had Zealously appear’d in it since it might soon have involv’d me in what the Committee had so much advis’d me against.  However my mind was Somewhat Eas’d when Major Jones and Mr. Dodge came along by my House in the forenoon in their return home (Captain Watts going down the Road from Captain Eagers), for though I could not have Opportunity to declare my mind last night yet I did to the fore-named Gentlemen to Day.  Lieutenant Holloway and Mr. Jacob Rice being in Company with them.  In which I expressly declar’d especialy that I could not by any means Countenance Such Divisions of Towns or Parishes as incapacitated them for bearing the necessary Public Charge etc., and that notwithstanding all the Love which the Town express’d to Me yet I intimated that they certainly did not provide for me as was necessary to enable me to answer their Expectations from me.  Captain Maynard at my House afterwards, and at noon Lieutenant Holloway and Rice — but would not stay to dine.  P.M. Mr. Coollidge returns from the North side and keeps School no more, being far gone in Despairs, Sordidness and viciousness (viz. Idleness and sloth, Smoaking and Drinking) — But he seem’d so much to Desire to remain with me over the Sabbath that I even told him he should be welcome.