November 17, 1736

1736 November 17 (Wednesday).  Attended to various Business a.m. and made divers Visits.  N.B. Talk of Sister Willards marrying one Mr. Reas of Philadelphia.  I dined at Brother Samuels.  After Dinner I went in to Mr. Pierponts.  <Several words crossed out.>  I determined to Say Nothing to Mrs. H______ of the weighty Matter under Consideration whilst She remains in So ill a state of Health, but She entered upon it her Self and discover’d to me that She had the most maturely considered things, and they were Still darker to her.  She thanked me for the respect I had Shewed her and their Family, but was now settled and determined etc.  Upon my requesting She would wave a final determination, she replyed that she had done so already; that she thought it was now high time to put an End to the whole affair, and therefore prayed me to withdraw my offers to her and Spare my Visits upon such Head, for that she was Sure it would be utterly in Vain: That this proceeded from no influence of any Body else: That She had no Eye to any Future Prospects; and if it Should so happen that She Should be less happy in any other match, yet She Should not have so clear a Conscience if She accepted of my Proposals, whilst things appeared to her mind as they do.  I went down to drink a Dish of Tea with Madam Pierpont and Mrs. Elizabeth Pierce and after Tea I had a private Minute with Madam who told me She was heartily Sorry to find her Kinswoman so resolutely determined to refuse me etc.: gave me her hearty wishes that I might have other and better Success otherwhere, prayed it might not break my Friendship at the House etc.: Upon which I returned to Mrs. H______ who continued the above mentioned strain — would return me (how much soever against my inclination) a little present I had made her, and which (she said) no Eye besides had Seen.  I was much put to’t to conduct my self with Decency, but I was obliged to undergo my Affliction, and thus with my best regards to her I took my final Leave.  Returned to Brother Elias’s and Supped and lodged there.  Thus have I been labouring and toiling at the Corn fields for divers Months, have ploughed with one Heifer after another, and watched all opportunitys and improved all advantages to benefit my Cause, having Spared nor Cost nor Pains, but now when the Time is Come when I might expect a joyful Harvest, <word crossed out> I have no Crop; instead thereof I find nothing by a Sign.  Mr. Pierpont kept the Sign of the Corn-Fields.