December 29, 1751

1751 December 29 (Sunday).  Ebenezer return’d from Boston last night — and brings News that Brother Samuel Parkman is ill of a Fever.  Read Numb. 28 and gave some observations.  Preach’d a.m. on Job 33.27.  P.M. read 1 Cor. 11, and preach’d on number 2.  Us’d sermon on this Text, which were compos’d when I was young (Viz. June 1724).  I therefore made great alterations and additions (in delivering although not in Writing) proceeding to page 8.  After the usual Exercise I stopp’d the Church and read the Letter from the Church in Holliston, and ask’d for a Vote, but there were but very few Hands — after repeatedly requesting that they would offer Some Reason which I might Send with our Answer, for our not complying, Justice Baker Said he believ’d there was Some Difficulty among ourselves which was the Reason — and after further Enquiry, I found it was, and with respect to Me, he himself and others being dissatisfy’d with my so suddenly dismissing the Church when I had read the Sudbury Brethren’s Letter on November 24.  Mr. Francis Whipple Stops to the Same Purpose.  I answer’d (in Substance) that if I had given the Church Ground of Offence it was altogether undesign’d, and I was utterly insensible of it, at the Time of it: that I conceiv’d I gave Time eno’ for any Body to Speak if they had desir’d it.  But that indeed Such were the Nature and Circumstances of the Affair, that I did not expect any Thing would be Said — For what I designed’d in Reading those Letters and in acquainting them with what I had done about them was, to oblige the Sudbury Brethren and to gratifie the Church also hoping for their Satisfaction and Concurrence in what I had done if they approv’d of it, or otherwise, to have the Church’s Sentiments and apprehensions about what was my and their Duty.  So that I was So far from designing to give any Offence, that it was all done out of Respect and to avoid all manner of Ground and of offence: That I could freely appeal to the Consciences of all that I was always Stanch for order; and though I would vindicate the Authority of the Ministry, yet made Conscience of not invading the Privileges of the Church — and as to this present Article, it was (as I apprehended) wholly owning to a Misunderstanding of the Design I had in Staying the Church.  And if the Time which I gave for any Brother to Speak (if any one inclin’d to) was Short, yet I thought it as long as was at all needfull or could be desir’d in such short Days and Cold Weather (N.B. it was Sacrament Day also), when people are uneasy to get home — So that I had no imagination that any one was disquieted.  But if they any of them were then uneasy, it would have been much more proper to have manifested it before now; either at the Time of it, or at least to have come to See me and Speak to me of it (as Several had done, and I had satisfy’d them) than to let it alone all this Time; and now make it Such an Obstruction to our Duty.  I Said I hop’d they were not fond of Divisions, and of having Councils to come here too for we ought to learn by the Evils which others suffer’d ourselves to beware.  These Things were Said at divers Times, in replying to Brother Baker and others — but to him chiefly — little else being offer’d but what was by him — And I added, that if the Space which was given (however I apprehended it) between reading the Letters etc and my dismissing the Church, was verily too short, I was Sorry for it, and I ask’d their Pardon.  But Justice Baker said that did not satisfie him; but he would take a Time to come and see me; which (that we might make Short) was propos’d to others also to do, and to do it in this ensuing Week — that So this Hindrance being remov’d we might next Lords Day Act upon the Holliston Letter.  This Obstruction was a Trouble to me; but that the Brethren should be so much disquieted as this came to, and yet keep it from me so long, till I am far less Capable of making Defence, did not a little Disturb me.