1757 February 18 (Friday). Still rainy. Have deep and distressing Concern about my own Spiritual State; and find abundant reason to abhor my Self before the Lord, to humble my Self to the Dust. And O that God would have Mercy on Me: for His great Name’s Sake! At Eve Mr. Noah Brooks here. Deacon Forb. and his Daughter, the widow, here. N.B. I gave her a Note of 11£ Old Tenor for the Pork which I bought of her, being 147 pound at 1/6. N.B. My Son Thomas brings me from his Brother Ebenezer a proposal about their taking the old place — but is what I can’t comply with.